Friday, June 29, 2012

Learning to Do it Alone

Photographing work.
Fixing the dryer.
Cutting out the wood.
Repairing the weed eater.
Just a few of the things i did this week.

I do not cringe at the thought of hard work.
I do not believe in "gender specific jobs" around the house.
I do not shy away from power tools.

For the past several years; however -
my husband managed many of those tasks.
Because i have an 8-5 day job -
he managed the business end of the art business.
He also handled the behind the scenes part of each piece -
he cut and prepped and sealed and delivered.

But he is no longer here to do those things.
He has chose to leave and with him leaving -
he also took with him the support for my business that I relied on.

I have not had to regularly do some of the tasks that i need to do now.
I have found myself having to keep many more balls in the air than usual.
This has brought a great sense of accomplishment.
It has also brought up new emotions . . .
fear, frustration, anger, hurt, betrayal and exhaustiion.

Recently -
I had an order that was due to a local store.
I had to do the art work as usual.
But I also had to negotiate getting the wood cut and prepped, sealing the finished art, creating the invoice, completing the delivery . . .
It required reblancing my time.
It required asking for help from family members (who didn't disappoint, by the way).
I had never made a delivery to this place before.
I felt even more emotions - panic being one of them.
Where do I go? Who do I talk to?

It required a new level of expectation and a new normal.
And although I felt all of those emotions . . .many of which I didn't like feeling -
it also brought up an emotion I didn't expect - PRIDE.
I did it!
With the help of awesome family members - i did it.

And it confirmed to me - I can do it.


Giggles said...

Baby steps, difficult, but oh so rewarding! Eventually you will realize how extremely brave and truly amazing you are!! Bless all those who support us on our journey!! I truly believe happiness is an inside job!!
Love your sign, and your authenticity!! Wishing you love and all things good!!!

Hugs Giggles

An'Angelia Thompson said...

Laurie, this post was wonderful. Know that I am cheering you on from OH! I've been trying to find time to sit down and write you an email of encouragement without me feeling rushed. I watched my Mom go through this when my Dad hit her with the "D" word in year....hmmmmm....30, I think it was. This is the beginning of something WONDERFUL for you - I'm SURE of it! I know if Mom were still alive and reading this she would say, "You GO, girl!" Much love to you. Ang

Coleen said...

Hi Laurie,

found your blog on the Sandy Mt Fest first when i was reading, I thought your husband had passed away...but, then realized he did not..but, had chosen to leave.....i was relating to your having to do it all and how much we relied on our spouses to help with our business and shows...only, mine died...(the other "D" word) I love the sign "happiness is an inside job"....I think i am going to the show tomorrow...I will introduce prob won't even see this as i am sure you are really busy....maybe even setting up as I type this!!!
Heart Hugs,