What Are Sundays For?

Monday through Saturday is filled with more work and chaos than I can bare sometimes. I always look forward to the weekends. But even Saturdays are crazy, as we try to catch up on the chores and errands that fell through the cracks during the week.

And then comes Sunday. The day of rest. The day of family. The day of simplicity. I love relaxed Sundays when the grandparents join us for dinner and game night. We all join in the kitchen to participate in the preparation of the meal while we listen to music and share stories and laughter. We later gather around the table and share a wonderful meal and conversation. Once dinner is finished we clear the dishes and pull out the dominos. Then we sit in friendly competition and play together. The last few weeks, there has also been a communal puzzle sitting on the coffee table. The players in the game change sometimes throughout the evening as the various family members move to other tasks. But the game is not the point - the game is nothing more than a catalyst for being together.

My parents are advancing in years. They may or may not have many years left - but health challenges have been more frequent and more severe recently. Their mortality is becoming more of an issue. I refuse to wake up one day saying "I wish I had spent more time with them. . ." . My parents live relatively close to us. I know that I loved my grandparents when I was young - but it was from a distance. One set lived in another state and the other set was a bit more distant emotionally. I want my children to know and love their grandparents. I want them to learn from their stories. I want them to share their achievements, the challenges, and their joys with them. I want them to know that they can always find unconditional love and support from their grandparents. And the only way to do that is to make sure that they have a chance to spend time with them.

Our Sunday dinners are a time that we all look forward to - in fact, some Sundays, when we are unable to bring the grandparents over for one reason or another, we all feel a bit like something is missing.

All I know, is that at the end of the evening, I go to bed feeling an overwhelming sense of love and peace. And far more prepared to face the week ahead.

Happiness

Last week I was at an art sale in West Linn. A woman walked into the booth. I welcomed her and told her to let me know if she had any questions. Because I have so many words and sentiments on my work, I try not to talk too much as people are looking. They seem to get frustrated if I am too chatty because they can't read and talk at the same time. She stood there for awhile, left, came back and stood a bit longer. She finally decided on a mirror and indicated that she wanted to purchase it. While I was wrapping up her new treasure she began to talk.

She told me that she felt so happy reading the phrases and quotes. She told me she just wanted to stand there a little longer and enjoy the feeling in the booth. WOW! I felt very humbled by that.

And then she asked me a question . . . "Are you just naturally happy and then you paint that - or do you need to paint to feel happy?" Her question caught me by surprise. I had never been asked anything like that before. I told her to give me a minute to think about how I wanted to answer and she stood there, patiently waiting, watching me and letting me know that she wasn't going to leave until I answered her.

In just a few short seconds, many thoughts raced through my mind and I realized - I am happy because I paint! Looking back on my life I know that I have fought times of depression. I like to stay busy - sometimes extremely busy. And that isn't always a good thing because it becomes overwhelming and it makes the situation even worse. But if I am busy - then I didn't have time to stop and feel down and blue. It is a bit of a catch-22. As I answered her question, she asked me if I fought depression. I wanted to weep as I answered her - because in the last year, the depression gremlin has been a bit stronger than ever before. And I immediately had an "a-ha" moment - I can't spend enough time in my studio these days. I am resentful when I have to do things like chores, or go to my day job, or any other type of distraction. I tell myself it is because I have deadlines and orders and shows . . .but I think the real reason is, I want to be in my studio because it is the best anti-depressant I have. In my studio, time stands still.

I am fairly new to the art world - I didn't even pick up a paint brush until I was an adult. It was the result of a bout of depression. I have always been creative. I performed for many years, I dabbled in various crafts like knitting and crochet - but I always wanted to paint. I was scared to get started. Paint seemed so "permanent" - what if I screwed up? Then what? Encouraged by my very dearest friend, I bought a few bottles of paint and some paint brushes and I started. I am so grateful for that encouragement. I'm not sure where I would be today without my art. My early work was very different from what I do today - I didn't find my artist voice until 6 years ago.

People often comment on my color palette - it is bright! I like bright, rich, saturated colors. I love how they make me feel. I love how they seem to surround my spirit and make it feel alive. Rich colors are like a blanket of security to me. I live in a place that has long, gray winters. I don't mind winter - in fact I love all of the seasons - but the gray . . .the neverending, thick, impenetrable gray . . .it begins to get to a person. When I was younger, it didn't bother me. The older I get, though, it is hard. If it weren't for my art, I'm not sure I could pull myself out of bed sometimes. I tell people I paint my own sunshine. I believe heaven will be full of colors that we can't even comprehend.

I am greatful that I have found my "passion" - I believe that everyone needs one. We all need that thing that we think about when we wake up in the morning and that keeps us up at night because we want to spend just a few more minutes doing it. Mine is art. I love being surrounded by my blanket of rich color. If you like my work and it makes you happy - thank you. If it's not your style - that is ok. I paint to make me happy. I paint to make my soul rejoice.

Dream Big!

I use the word "Dream" in a lot of my work - I encourage friends and family to follow their dreams and their passions and to take time for themselves. I believe this. I really do. Especially because, as a woman and mother- we are not much good to those we care for if our reserves are always depleted. I just don't always follow my own advice.

Several years ago, I saw the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun" . I immediately fell in love with it. The concept that a woman, when at the end of her rope, goes on a trip and never comes back hit a nerve deep inside me. I have watched the movie over and over and over. I imagine myself doing something similar. I wonder how I would adapt to a foreign country. Would I learn to communicate or would my "old lady" brain win out? Would I make friends and develop relationships? How would I earn a living? Am I brave enough?

Last night, my husband took me to see "Eat, Pray, Love", again a story of a woman reaching a roadblock in her life and taking off on her own. There is much that can be said about the movie - was it perfect? No. Was it a bit self-indulgent? Maybe. Did I love it? Yes. And what's more - it stirred those wanderlust feelings inside of me yet again. I found myself dwelling on it when I came home. I woke in the middle of the night to dreams of travel and soul-searching.

I have always found myself drawn to and fascinated by the idea of exploring other cultures - not as a tourist, but as a participant. I fantasize about spending months in one place. Enough time to really explore and observe.

Of course, life gets in the way sometimes. Family takes precendence - as it should. Afterall, family is the one constant I can always rely on. But sometimes I have to wonder . . .could I? Is is possible to make such a dream a reality? Then it goes back to my words of wisdom - "Keep your dreams big" and "have faith". I know that some day I will travel and see some of the remarkable places this world has to offer. I may not end up staying for a year or even months - but I believe that the desire is strong enough that someday, I will get a stamp in my passport. Maybe even several stamps.

So . . .what is your dream or fantasy that seems so big that you aren't sure how to make it come true? We need to share so that we can all support each other. So let's raise our hands high and make a promise to ourselves to go out and do everything we can to living our dreams.

Garden Tour

Summer is in full swing around our place. Besides all of the art shows and creating new work, we are spending alot of time in the yard and garden. We had a rather late start to the growing season due to the unusual amount of rain and cold spring that we had. Of course, living in the Pacific NW, we are used to plenty of rain - but this year was a bit out of the ordinary. We also dug up some new beds. Some of them are limping along - our tomatoes and green beans are leaving something to be desired - but the sunflowers? They are in their prime right now. The thing that needs to be understood is - we didn't plant any of these. We planted a few ornamental sunflowers last year and every one in our garden this year is a volunteer. We just couldn't fathom pulling them out. They are, afterall, one of my favorite summer flowers! My son is standing next to the one plant that is different from all the rest. Who knows where this one came from. It is the type that you grow for the seeds. We have proclaimed it the "dinosaur plant" because of its huge size. For a bit of reference, my son is 6'3" and his arm is fully extended and he still couldn't stretch it up all of the way. The stalk at the bottom of this plant is huge! And the head of the plant weighs about 20 pounds! Amazing - I am constantly amazed at the miracles of nature. Such a tiny seed can produce such a wonderful and enourmous flower!

In other news - we are prepping for West Linn's Arts in the Forest this weekend (August 14 and 15). We are diligently working to make sure that we have lots of great items available. We would love to see as many of our friends as possible. And this show has a great feature - tree dancers - an aerial dance troupe that performs from the tops of the tree in the forest. Very exciting! Time to get back to the garden and the studio!